I got it all!

It's all in here baby. It's all in here.

http://liberatedlookingatyou.wordpress.com/

The Way I See It

Here are some things which I've observed so far this year:

1. School sucks. I hate going to school everyday. I wish the University of Louisville would burn down, but decide to give us all degrees as compensation. School sucks.
2. I do not like children. 1-2 children is okay. Large groups are not. 4 year olds should be illegal, and therefore deported. I do not like children.
3. Being a conservative or liberal, republican or democrat is not a good way to live. If you label yourself as one of those, you're somewhat obligated to stick to what your party believes about certain issues, and not so free to form your own ideas. If your ideas and opinions go along with one of the parties, great. By all means be in that party. Forming our own opinions on stuff is our God given right as Americans. Be happy you have that freedom.
   
4. Men are poopy. I've already had 1 guy prove to be the scum of the earth this year. Too bad, because he was a hottie. A jerk...but a hottie (Army uniform, muscles, sweet face...you get the picture). Men are poopy.
5. Tory is the coolest person I know. Also the most emo, but she knows I love her anyway. She's there to talk to when life sucks, but will also discuss a myriad of other useless things with me. She's my best friend! I only wish she would come to her senses and move here so we can hang out when no one else invites me to do stuff.
   
6. Math is a creation of Satan. I'm in the last level of what I call Retard Math, and I cannot figure out where on earth I'm going to use the crap they're teaching me in this class. It is NOT applicable to living. I do not need to know this crap. Math is a creation of Satan.
7. She didn't know there was another hole down there. Oh what great memories of being 14. (No one really wants to know what this is about, so don't ask.)
   
8. I like Psychology. It's a really freaking cool subject to study. The stuff I'm learning about Cognitive Psychology is literally the coolest stuff I've learned since I learned to tie my own shoes. And Tory is excited about the thought of me loving it so much, since she's been telling me forever that it's an awesome subject. I like Psych, and I might just major in it.
9. I love my Mommy. Not really an observation from this particular year, but it's still true and all. My Momma is the coolest mother on earth.
10. I'm a lazy bum. I knew that before this year, but I'm just now realizing that I shouldn't be. I'll fix that soon.
11. I hate asthma! One of the many reasons why I'm a lazy bum is because when I'm not lazy I tend to have trouble breathing. I can't even walk around campus between classes right now because the cold temps make it about 3 times as hard to breath. Stupid weather....

Well that's several observations from this year. I'll no doubt have more once the year goes on.

These stats are insane....

I pulled this from CNN.com This article really shocked me. I read the title 3 times before I could actually believe what it said. These numbers are absolutely out of control.
It's really weird to think that I'm among a group of less than 5%. It's insane to think about 9.5 out of every 10 people. All I can say is wow...
The thing that made me stand back and say "what the crap?!" was when they said that it dates back to the 1940's, at a time which most people consider to be much more pure than today.
Read my comments after the article...



Reality check: 95 percent of Americans had premarital sex
POSTED: 8:42 p.m. EST, December 20, 2006


NEW YORK (AP) -- More than nine out of 10 Americans, men and women alike, have had premarital sex, according to a new study. The high rates extend even to women born in the 1940s, challenging perceptions that people were more chaste in the past.

"This is reality-check research," said the study's author, Lawrence Finer. "Premarital sex is normal behavior for the vast majority of Americans, and has been for decades."

Finer is a research director at the Guttmacher Institute, a private New York-based think tank that studies sexual and reproductive issues and which disagrees with government-funded programs that rely primarily on abstinence-only teachings. The study, released Tuesday, appears in the new issue of Public Health Reports. (Sex by the numbers)

The study, examining how sexual behavior before marriage has changed over time, was based on interviews conducted with more than 38,000 people -- about 33,000 of them women -- in 1982, 1988, 1995 and 2002 for the federal National Survey of Family Growth. According to Finer's analysis, 99 percent of the respondents had had sex by age 44, and 95 percent had done so before marriage.

Even among a subgroup of those who abstained from sex until at least age 20, four-fifths had had premarital sex by age 44, the study found.

Finer said the likelihood of Americans having sex before marriage has remained stable since the 1950s, though people now wait longer to get married and thus are sexually active as singles for extensive periods.

The study found women virtually as likely as men to engage in premarital sex, even those born decades ago. Among women born between 1950 and 1978, at least 91 percent had had premarital sex by age 30, he said, while among those born in the 1940s, 88 percent had done so by age 44.

"The data clearly show that the majority of older teens and adults have already had sex before marriage, which calls into question the federal government's funding of abstinence-only-until-marriage programs for 12- to 29-year-olds," Finer said.

Under the Bush administration, such programs have received hundreds of millions of dollars in federal funding.

"It would be more effective," Finer said, "to provide young people with the skills and information they need to be safe once they become sexually active -- which nearly everyone eventually will."

Wade Horn, assistant secretary for children and families at the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, defended the abstinence-only approach for teenagers.

"One of its values is to help young people delay the onset of sexual activity," he said. "The longer one delays, the fewer lifetime sex partners they have, and the less the risk of contracting sexually transmitted disease."

He insisted there was no federal mission against premarital sex among adults.

"Absolutely not," Horn said. "The Bush administration does not believe the government should be regulating or stigmatizing the behavior of adults."

Horn said he found the high percentages of premarital sex cited in the study to be plausible, and expressed hope that society would not look askance at the small minority that chooses to remain abstinent before marriage.

However, Janice Crouse of Concerned Women for America, a conservative group which strongly supports abstinence-only education, said she was skeptical of the findings.

"Any time I see numbers that high, I'm a little suspicious," she said. "The numbers are too pat."

Copyright 2006. The Associated Press. All rights reserved.


Is this what I have to look forward to in the future? Fellow Americans who can't keep their pants on past their 20's? It makes me wonder how much further that number will rise before any children that I might have grow up to my age. In 2006, at the age of 20, I'm among the 5% of people who don't see premarital sex as the norm.

And here's what gets to me--I know for a fact that more than 5% of the U.S. is Christian. I don't just mean the "yes, I believe in God and I'm a christian" sort of "Christian". I mean real deal Christians who are saved and going to Heaven. There are most certainly more than 5% of us out there. We of all people should be able to abstain. I mean, I realize it's a struggle and all. I'm not saying it's not. But shouldn't we trust in God to give us the strength to shy away from situations that may not be the best for us? Of that 5%, I doubt they're all Christians. Some people abstain for medical reasons, or some other religion reason. So that brings the number of Christians involved in premarital sex up even higher.
I know that even Christians fall. We're all human here. But 95% of Americans is a pitiful number.

"What do you want for Christmas?!"

That's the question people keep asking. "What do you want for Christmas?" What I want for Christmas is for people to stop asking me what I want for Christmas.
I don't want anything.
Yes, you read that correctly. I don't want anything. I don't like getting stuff because people feel its expected. I don't want people to be like "Well, it's Christmastime, so that means I have to buy stuff for people. So what do I have to buy Rebekah?"

Why is it that Christmas, birthdays, holidays, etc. are the only times that people feel convicted to give another person a gift? Why not just give people stuff randomly because you love or care about them? Why only at holidays?
I don't say this to make myself look any better, but I frequently buy people stuff just because I care. Not for any special occassion, but just because I love them. I sent Tory cards and stuff at school, I buy Sarah things, I get my parents fun stuff, just because I like to and want to.

The way I see it, I'm way more blessed than alot of people in the world. I have alot to be thankful for. There are people in the world who don't have even a fraction of a fraction of what I have. Their Christmas is going to be terrible. So what gives me the right to sit in my nice big house, with a big Christmas meal, and loads of presents I don't need, while other people are starving on the street in the cold? What gives anybody that right?
I'm not saying I don't think anyone should get gifts. But when you're opening those presents on Christmas morning, think about how good your lives are. Think about it.

I'm a free thinker

I don't want to be a conservative anymore. I don't want to be a liberal either. I just want room to form my own ideas. I don't agree with either side, so I'm not going to be on either.

Here are my opinions on a few things:
Abortion- Wrong. It's killing a person.
Gay marriage- If you want to be gay, go ahead, its fine by me. I'm not stopping you. Just don't try to get married so you can have benefits.
War- I'm against it. I'm tired of men and women dying for something that's going nowhere. If it were up to me, we'd be out of Iraq and A-Stan tomorrow. If it starts to move along toward something better, I'm all for staying.
Social Security- Well God knows some people are going to need something when they get old. There are people who aren't going to put money away for when they're older, and SS is going to help them out alot. I do think we shoudl have the OPTION of putting money into a personal account though. I have an IRA that I plan on adding money to every year once I'm out of school.

Don't like my opinion? Then stop reading them.

I fear my "forming my own ideas" will be misconstrued as turning to the "other side" though. Oh well. Whatever. Blame it on Tory and Bob Dylan partly. But mostly blame it on me, because it's my mind.

Blah

Life is boring.

That's all I'll say about that.

Dude!

So I'm reading the most amazing book ever. How To Talk To A Liberal (If You Must) by Ann Coulter. I've read 1 chapter and I was laughing the whole time.
I love her because she attacks liberals without any regard for their feelings. It's amazing. I hope to be as great as that someday.

I've changed my page to a pink one, since its Breast Cancer Awareness Month, and it means so much to me and all.

I might keep it. It's kind of cute.

Eh, time for an update

Well, it's been a good while since I updated. Not much has been going on. School is still the bain of my meager existence. My job still bites.
On the other hand, I'm planning my next trip to DC. Elise and I are going next June, and I'm very excited. We've found a hotel in Alexandria for about $75 a night, which is an amazing rate for the DC Metro area. We've got a list of places we'll go, and things we will see, and people we will meet. I'm still hoping Tory comes to her senses and goes home next summer, so we can all 3 hang out. I'm trying to convince her to come here for the summer, but so far that's not worked. I miss my best friend... :( But going with Elise will be oodles of fun, because she's just as in love with DC as I am, and appreciates it all.
(random side note: there is some majoring snoring coming from my parents bedroom. And since Daddy has a breathing machine for his sleep apnea...that only leaves one person who could be producing such odd sounds. But I digress.)

DC is the greatest city I've ever been to, and I'm eager to go back, even if it's only for 5-6 days. I have fond memories of DC...

So school sucks. I hate math. I got an A- on my first test, but it's still boring to sit through those lectures. She wants us to show our steps for EVERYTHING we do on homework, quizzes, and tests. I'm sorry, but adding 2+7+6+6+10 does not require much thinking, therefore I don't write out my steps. This woman wants it to be worked like this.
2+7=9
9 +6=15
15 +6=21
21 +10=31
Now normally I'd do it all on my head, and write down the answer. It's not a tough problem. But she wants me to waste space on my paper by doing it like that. Crazy woman...

Justice Administration is alright. Brewer is just about the funniest guy ever. And he shows us lots of video clips to illustrate his points, so that helps. The class is very informative. I'm learning a great deal, despite my score on the first test. Hopefully I can pull my grade on the next one up.

It's 3:37am. I've had almost an entire 2 liter of Dew since about 4pm. It's going to be like 7 minutes, and then I'll crash really hard. Yeah, that's what'll happen...

09-11-01 - Five Years Later -

I was 15 when 9-11 happened. I woke up at about 8am with a bad feeling that it wasn't going to be a normal Tuesday. I got out of bed and watched some Lois And Clark on TV (it was satellite, so I knew nothing of what was happening), then went to take a shower before I started on my schoolwork for the day. When I came downstairs, Sarah and Momma were watching TV, which never happened after 9am on any weekday. I knew right away that my feeling had been right, that something bad must have happened. I looked at the TV and immediately saw Tower 2 fall. I got this feeling in the pit of my stomach that I had just watched the deaths of a lot of people. At that point, I didn't know anything about the planes flying into the buildings. All I saw was a gaping hole in the top of a tower, and then a collapse. After that, they showed some coverage of the Pentagon, and my eyes were glued to the TV. All of a sudden they went back to NYC, and I saw Tower 1 fall.
Before Tower 1 fell, I could see in the background that things were falling out of windows, and since I saw paper strewn all over the streets, I thought that it was more paper. As it turns out, it wasn't all paper. Some of what was flying out of those windows was people. They knew that if they stayed in the building, that the fire would eventually reach them, and they would be burned up. So jumping out of a building from 80 stories up was a better way to die. I was told later that most would have had heart attacks before they reached the ground. I hope they all died before they got to the ground.

As the day went on, we learned that another plane had crashed near Shanksville, PA. Only this plane wasn't driven to the ground by terrorists. It was taken down by a group of passengers who knew that if was better to sacrifice themselves, than others. I'm not sure if they knew that the plane they were in was supposed to hit the U.S. Capitol Building, but they weren't going to let more people die than had to.
I got the chance to go to Shanksville, PA on October 11, 2002. It was a rainy day and very, very depressing. I could still smell the jet fuel, even though the memorial is about about 150 yards from the actual crash site. When we got done we went down a little gravel road to turn around, and I saw some of the small craters left by debris. The memorial is on top of a small hill, and I could see the larger hole left by the plane itself. Seeing the crash site made it more real for me. It was no longer just something I had seen coverage of on TV. When I looked out over that field and saw that crash site, the reality of it all hit me.

Those terrorists thought that they had devised the perfect plan to bring down America. And while I hope that there's never another day like 09-11-01, I think we showed them that it's going to take a lot to bring us down. 5 years later, I can say with more confidence than ever, that I'm proud to be an American.

09-11-2006

"Where Were You When The World Stopped Turning"

Where were you when the world stopped turning that September day
Out in the yard with your wife and children
Working on some stage in LA
Did you stand there in shock at the site of
That black smoke rising against that blue sky
Did you shout out in anger
In fear for your neighbor
Or did you just sit down and cry

Did you weep for the children
Who lost their dear loved ones
And pray for the ones who don't know
Did you rejoice for the people who walked from the rubble
And sob for the ones left below

Did you burst out in pride
For the red white and blue
The heroes who died just doing what they do
Did you look up to heaven for some kind of answer
And look at yourself to what really matters

I'm just a singer of simple songs
I'm not a real political man
I watch CNN but I'm not sure I can tell you
The difference in Iraq and Iran
But I know Jesus and I talk to God
And I remember this from when I was young
Faith hope and love are some good things he gave us
And the greatest is love

Where were you when the world stopped turning that September day
Teaching a class full of innocent children
Driving down some cold interstate
Did you feel guilty cause you're a survivor
In a crowded room did you feel alone
Did you call up your mother and tell her you love her
Did you dust off that bible at home
Did you open your eyes and hope it never happened
Close your eyes and not go to sleep
Did you notice the sunset the first time in ages
Speak with some stranger on the street
Did you lay down at night and think of tomorrow
Go out and buy you a gun
Did you turn off that violent old movie you're watching
And turn on "I Love Lucy" reruns
Did you go to a church and hold hands with some stranger
Stand in line and give your own blood
Did you just stay home and cling tight to your family
Thank God you had somebody to love

I'm just a singer of simple songs
I'm not a real political man
I watch CNN but I'm not sure I can tell you
The difference in Iraq and Iran
But I know Jesus and I talk to God
And I remember this from when I was young
Faith hope and love are some good things he gave us
And the greatest is love

I'm just a singer of simple songs
I'm not a real political man
I watch CNN but I'm not sure I can tell you
The difference in Iraq and Iran
But I know Jesus and I talk to God
And I remember this from when I was young
Faith hope and love are some good things he gave us
And the greatest is love

The greatest is love
The greatest is love

Where were you when the world stopped turning that September day

Life sucks

I guess it's time for another update on here.
I keep forgetting that when I update my personal one (the one with all my screwed up thoughts), and that this one isn't updated too. Though no one really needs to read what I write on my other one.

So I'm back to being really emo. I was doing alright until last night. Then crap happened, and I got mad, and now I'm still not happy. School and work are only going to make it worse. I probably should reduce my hours for work next semester, but I need to make money, so I'm going to end up working atleast 15, probably closer to 20 next year.
I really want to be able to get out of the city next summer, and that won't happen unless I work more. I wish I knew of something I could do to make some extra money over the next year, but I don't know what I can do. I can make about $2500 over this semester and next, and still be able to give myself an allowance every week. But depending on what I do, that may not be enough for the summer. I'd really like to be able to go out west and just do some touring, but I can't make enough money at UofL to buy a car and still take the trip. I need a way to make about $2500 extra over the next 9 months or so.

Life isn't in agreement with me right now. Blah.

Waiting on my world to change...

It's been a week since I updated. Not a good week. School and work are stressing me out. Plus I'm having major issues with some other stuff, and it's making me really emo. Maybe it's because I'm emo that I'm having the issues. I think they actually go hand in hand. But I've started another blog to write down all that's going on in my head. I'm not sure if it's making me feel any better, but I'll do it for a little longer to see if it helps to have it written out instead of just in my head. Too much is in my head right now.
But anyway, I'm not dealing well with being back at school and work at the U-Club. I'm not sure what the problem is exactly though. Tory thinks I work too much, and after just a week I'm starting to agree. But I can't reduce my hours for this year any. I will for next semester though. It's pretty sad that I can't handle 2 classes and 16.5 hours of work each week. But I'm thinking that it's the other stuff going on that's making me stressed out about school and work. Under normal circumstances I'd think I had an easy semester, but right now it's all too much.

I think I need to take Tory's advice on a certain something.

This is a song that I heard while sitting at a movie with Tory. (we tried to see Pirates 2, but the film burned, so we got our money back) At first I just liked the way it sounded, but then after listening to it, I'm seeing how much it's true for me. It's "Waiting On The World To Change" by John Mayer.



me and all my friends
we're all misunderstood
they say we stand for nothing and
there's no way we ever could
now we see everything that's going wrong
with the world and those who lead it
we just feel like we don't have the means
to rise above and beat it

so we keep waiting
waiting on the world to change
we keep on waiting
waiting on the world to change
it's hard to beat the system
when we're standing at a distance
so we keep waiting
waiting on the world to change

now if we had the power
to bring our neighbors home from war
they would have never missed a Christmas
no more ribbons on their door
and when you trust your television
what you get is what you got
cause when they own the information, oh
they can bend it all they want

that's why we're waiting
waiting on the world to change
we keep on waiting
waiting on the world to change
it's not that we don't care,
we just know that the fight ain't fair
so we keep on waiting
waiting on the world to change

and we're still waiting
waiting on the world to change
we keep on waiting waiting on the world to change
one day our generation
is gonna rule the population
so we keep on waiting
waiting on the world to change

we keep on waiting
waiting on the world to change

Not happy about being home

I'm back from Alexandria. I'm not happy about this. I went back to school today and it wasn't fun because I hate being around that many college students. I'm sure everyone knows that college students aren't the best of people to be around, and after 1 day I'm realizing it once again.
I'm going to drop Latin though, I think. I'm really not feeling good about taking it, and would like to take a year off. That brings me down to a total of 2 classes, or 6 hours, of school along with my 16.5/week at work.

School and work are stressing me out. Which is sad, because I'm not doing that much of either. But I'm not doing well with having so much going on in my life. I need some more time at home. Getting to school everyday and then going to work is physically draining. And being away from my family is draining me emotionally. So, I'm going to drop Latin and focus on my other 2 classes.

Anyways, on to my trip highlights.

Saturday 8/12: I flew out of SDF at 1030 and got to BWI at about noonish, waited freaking 20 minutes for my luggage, and went to find Tory. Got to Alexandria and watched Phantom Of The Opera, and then went out that night to do random crap.

Sunday: Slept late, hung out, went to Georgetown, and went to babysit that night. I fell asleep at the end of that. Comfy couch.

Monday 8/14: Well, we think that was the day I got all asthmatic, then that night we tried to see Pirates Of The Carribean 2, but the flim burned up. But neither Tory nor I can remember for sure. We only think it was that day.

Tuesday: We went to Wal-Mart (like goin' home...) and Mount Vernon. That was fun. We also went to The Cheesecake Factory that night, then to the Mall to take pictures. (A few of those pics turned out REALLY good!)

Wednesday 8/16: We went to Six Flags that day. Which wasn't as cool as it shoudl ahve been, but not completely bad. Tory's day started out bad, but I think it got better.

Thursday: I think we went to the Mall to see the Air And Space Museum that day, and to take some pictures of the U.S. Capitol Building. And for supper we had fish, which was soo good! (It was a highlight to me...)

Friday 8/18: We went downtown to the Spy Museum, which was soo freaking awesome! I bought toys! Cool night vision binoculars, a mosquito thing, a sticker that says SPY on it, and a pen that's really fat and awesome.

Saturday: We went to Arlington Cemetary to see the changing of the guard at Tomb Of The Unknown (got that on video), then I stayed at Tory's all day because she was babysitting again and they went swimming. Then we went to IHOP after she got home, and had some pancakes.

Sunday 8/20: We got up and went to church at USNA. Looked around the Yard alittle, and bought stuff in the gift shop. Then we went shopping, driving around, and eating, for like 4 hours before my flight left. At like 5:30 I started getting all emo because I was sad about leaving. Then at 6, she took me to BWI and we got my bags checked, and she left me all alone, and I got all teary. At 8 my flight left for SDF and I cried the whole way home. I got 2 extra bags of crackers, on account of I was the only one crying on the plane. I came home, talked to Tory online, and went to bed, got emo again and got freaked out whenever I closed my eyes to sleep. Quote for that day: "I wanna be a hoe!"

Classic/memorable moments from my vacation:
-On the ride into Alexandria when Tory said: "Well, aren't you going to talk to me?" And I replied "No, I have phone calls to make. You'll have to wait."
-At the dinner table when we got into a political discussion, and I said "Well, I'd vote for Rice if she ran..."
-"I wanna be a ho!" ('Nuff said)
-Laying in bed watching Golden Girls episodes and laughing at the cheesiness of everything on there. -The food. Tory's mother is a great cook. I'd live in a cardboard box in Alexandria if I could have food that good every night.
-Early Sunday morning when I woke up and George was staring me in the face from the floor and I nearly screamed out of fright.
-IHOP on Saturday night.
-The night when I was changing my shirt and Tory walked in and saw me in *gasp*, my bra, and acted like it was terrible or something. That made me laugh. It's not like I was naked, Darling.
-9am-6pm on Sunday when we just hung out. Not doing tourist stuff, just hanging out and talking.
(More to come later!)

I loved my trip! I want to go back! Tory's mother makes the best food I've had in awhile (Not that Momma is a good cook...but...nevermind). Who would have thought organic crap could make such great food. Maybe it was the cook. I dunno. But it was something.
Anyways, I have pictures and some video of stuff. If you have a Facebook, the pictures are on there. If not, tell me you want them and I'll give them to you. The video will make very little sense to everyone else though, so I probably won't give it out.

I'm done now.

Soo, I'm in Alexandria. And It's 235am, and we're laying in bed talking about shaving, and tampons, and "other things"....

So, yeah. It's been a great week. I'm not looking forward to skrewl beginning again. Blah. Stupid classes.

create your own visited states map

Here's a cool map of all the states I've been to in my life.

Alright, so it's been awhile since I updated.

Nothing much has happened lately. I'm still working in the Parking Office, though this is my last week there. After Thursday (hopefully is my last day) I'll be taking Friday to pack and get my crap ready for DC, then for school since I'll be getting home about 13 hours before my first class. I'm only kind of looking forward to school starting. I think I'll like Latin and JA this semester, but taking Math 065 for the 3rd time won't be fun. And work will be some fun, because I have Oddessy on my laptop now, so I can get internet at school, which means Yahoo Messenger with Tory while I should be studying. All in all, school will be okay, because I won't be working all the time, like it feels like I'm doing now. Plus, no ROTC to plague my life this year. Life will be good.

I leave for DC in about 3.5 days. It's going to be loads of fun. I love flying! I'll be chewing loads of gum though, since it's a short flight (only about 1.5 hours) and my ears won't adjust well. I plan to tape a video documentary of my trip, starting with right when I get past security at SDF and find my gate. I'm way excited about this trip! I love DC for reason I can't comprehend, so spending another week looking at will be sweet.

Who I Am...

I'm Rebekah. I'm 20, and a sophomore. I'm considering majoring in Justice Administration with minors in Forensic Anthropology and Latin. I plan on going to grad school to get my M.S. in Forensic Science. I would very much like to look at decaying bodies for a living.

I am a strong Christian and nothing will change that. I do not curse, drink, smoke, or have wild sex on the weekends.


Those are the basic things about me. But what about ME. The real me.
Am I just that little redhead, with the gap toothed smile, that usually looks too serious? Or am I much more than that?

I've been through a lot in my life. There's some stuff I've dealt with that very few people know about. 2002 and 2003 were 2 very bad years for me. So were 2004 and part of 2005 for that matter. My life has been perfect on the outside, but inside there have been a lot of things wrong.
I think I'm just now beginning to get back on track in a few areas.

In the past 5 years:
-I've had to watch Momma go through chemo and radiation. I still get really scared everytime she goes to any of her doctors. I feel like it's only a matter of time. I'm much more attached to her than I used to be. In fact, she and Daddy are away right now, and I feel like crap because she's not here.
-I've watched Grandma go from the most active 71 year old I've ever known, down to someone who spent 2 out of her last 4 months in a hospital room getting meds pumped into her. Her dying was the single worst thing that's ever happened to me. I'm not sure if I'll ever get over it, or be the same person I was before.
-I've started college, and learned that I don't like the outside world. I think by being homeschool from 2nd-12th grade, I missed out on socializing with people who have different beliefs and points of view. Even though I'm beginning my 6th semester of college, the whole thing is still foreign to me. I don't like having to go to a secular school and try to weed through the truths and fallacies of what I'm being taught.
-I've lost some friends. Some due to moving elsewhere, some due to just being stupid. I've never been one to rely on my peers all that much, but there's no denying that a good friend can mean the world to you sometimes. I wish I'd had a good friend in 2003. Things might have turned out differently if that had been the case. I've recently come to realize that my whole life I've had friends and best friends who have taken advantage of me of the type of person I am.
-I've gone from being happy, to angry, back to happy, to very angry and staying that way, back to being basically happy again. Sickness and death seems to have that effect on people. I was angry at God for almost 18 months, and it wasn't a fun time for me.


When I think about the question "who am I?", I'm reminded of this song. It makes it sound so simple.


If I live to be a hundred
And never see the seven wonders
That'll be alright
If I don't make it to the big leagues
If I never win a Grammy
I'm gonna be just fine
'Cause I know exactly who I am

I am Rosemary's granddaughter
The spitting image of my father
And when the day is done, my momma's still my biggest fan
Sometimes I'm clueless and I'm clumsy
But I've got friends who love me
And they know just where I stand
It's all a part of me
And that's who I am

So when I make a big mistake
When I fall flat on my faceI know I'll be alright
Should my tender heart be brokenI will cry those teardrops knowin'
I will be just fine
'Cause nothin' changes who I am

I am Rosemary's granddaughter
The spitting image of my father
And when the day is done
My momma's still my biggest fan
Sometimes I'm clueless and I'm clumsy
But I've got friends who love me
And they know just where I stand
It's all a part of me
And that's who I am

I'm a saint and I'm a sinner
I'm a loser, I'm a winner
I'm am steady and unstableI am young but I'm able


I am Rosemary's granddaughter
The spitting image of my father
And when the day is done
My momma's still my biggest fan
Sometimes I'm clueless and I'm clumsy
But I've got friends who love me
And they know just where I stand
It's all a part of me
And that's who I am

I am Rosemary's granddaughter
The spitting image of my father
And when the day is done
My momma's still my biggest fan
Sometimes I'm clueless and I'm clumsy
But I've got friends who love me
And they know just where I stand
It's all a part of me
And that's who I am

So, am I just that little redhead, with the gap toothed smile, that usually looks too serious? Or am I much more than that? I don't know. Maybe I'm both.

'Nuff said...

God Bless Flip-Flops

I'm going to tell you of the most amazing thing God ever inspired someone to make. Flip Flops. Yes, a piece of foam and a piece of plastic are, what I believe to be, the best things on earth. Why you may ask? Well, all you have to do it slip your foot into it, and your feet are covered enough to venture out into the world. They're worn with relative ease and most are pretty darn comfortable. I personally own about 12 pairs of these wonders, all from Old Navy. At 2/$5, they can't be beat. I have a pair of flip flops to go with every outfit I could ever put together, and a few colors that will go with nothing I own, but are awesome anyways.

Yes, flip flops are the best thing since sliced bread.

In other news, my job still is the worst thing ever. It's sooo boring that I want to cry everyday from the lack of activity. See, I'm a person who needs excitment, and working in an office doing paperwork doesn't provide any at all. Today the most exciting part of my day was when I got off work and had an hour til Daddy got off, and I went running. (Yes, the asthmatic ran. Please applause.) My life has been reduced to such that running around a track is now exciting. I so need a better life...

So...it's been awhile. Nothing is still happening. I started working in the Parking Office last week, and I already hate it. It's way too boring for me. I want to work in the U-Club booth again. And if I weren't making money for my trip, I'd quit and not work until school starts.

Yesterday, June 25, 2006, I was the day that I realized I want to go back to school. I'm looking forward to Latin 201 and JA 201, but not Math 065 (retard math).
I really wish it were the end of July instead of June, because:
1.) I'd be closer to DC.
2.) I'd be closer to not working in an office.
3.) I'd be closer to getting to DC.
4.) School would be closer.
5.) I'd be closer to DC.
And if you have at least 3 reasons for wanting something to happen, it probably should. That's the logic of Rebekah.

So yeah, work isn't fun. Today I spent about an hour transporting files to the storage room...using a rolling office chair. See, Mark (the bosso man) had our dolly last, and since he had it last, Lord only knows where it is now. And since the old office chair was the only thing we had around that rolled, that's what I used to take the files outside. It sucked. The rest of my time today was spent going through papers and envelopes that will be used to mail out permits for 06-07. B-O-R-I-N-G to the extreme.

Well, that's my life for right now. Making money by actually working. I don't like this concept. I'm trying to keep my eyes on the prize. Washington, DC and surrounding areas.

Body: Ten years ago, it was 1996. Take this survey, post the results, and see how many things have changed since then.

1) How old were you? THEN: 10
NOW: 20


2) Where did you go to school? THEN: Home
NOW: University of Louisville

3) Where did you work? THEN: too young
NOW: Parking Dept at UofL

4) Where did you live? THEN: Louisville
NOW: Louisville

5) How was your hairstyle? THEN: don't remember
NOW: Long

6) Did you wear braces? THEN: Nope
NOW: Nope

7) Did you wear contacts? THEN: no
NOW: yes

8) Did you wear glasses? THEN: yes
NOW: yes

9) Who was your best friend? THEN: Jessica
NOW:Tory

10) Which of your pets were still alive? THEN: Didn't have one
NOW: Tigger and Moo-Moo (I think)

11) Who was your boyfriend/girlfriend? THEN: None
NOW: Sadly, the same

12) Who was your celebrity crush? THEN: None
NOW: David James Elliot

13) Who was your regular-person crush? THEN: None
NOW: None

14) How many piercing did you have? THEN: 0
NOW: 0

15) How many tattoos did you have? THEN: 0
NOW: 0

16) What was your favorite band/singer? THEN: Not a clue
NOW: Hmm, The Killers?

17) Had you smoked a cigarette? THEN: no
NOW: no

18) Had you gotten drunk? THEN: no
NOW: no

19) Had you DRIVEN YET? THEN: no
NOW: Yes

20) If so which car? THEN: none
NOW: 1999 Ford Windstar SEL (got all the buttons and crap :D)

21) Looking back, are you where you thought you would be in 2006? Nooope

Ookay, so here's my new post... This one is boring, as my life is boring at the moment. I stopped working in the U-Club booth last week, and now am waiting to start working in the office so I can make some more cash for my upcoming trip to DC in August. So right now all I do is sit at home and doing work around here. B-o-r-i-n-g.

Soo....that seems to be life right now.

I've nothing more to say.

My List

So, I've made a list for my birthday. It's a list of 20 good things/things I'm thankful for. One thing for each year since my birth.

1. God. Even when I didn't want to believe, He was there with me.
2. My Family. I love my family alot.
3. Tigger. She's a constant source of entertainment for me. And she's squishy too.
4. School. Even tohugh I hate waking up for class, I still am thankful that I can go to college.
5. Work. Money! I'm happy to have a job where I get to sit on my rear end and make money.
6. Sarah. She annoys me alot. Alot... But she's still my sister and I love her.
7. My iPod. Okay, I LOVE my iPod! It's my favorite possession.
8. Music. This ties in with #7. I would go completely crazy without music in my life.
9. The United States. I'm thankful to live in the U.S.. I never want to live anywhere else.
10. Tory. Well, she studies too much and has weird tastes in food, but I still love her. She's my bestest little buddy. "The Poky and Tory Gang" will live forever.
11. Moo-Moo. Moo is too freaking stupid! But I can't help but love a cat who looks like a cow and acts like a dog.
12. My Momma. I love my Momma! She's one of my favorite people. I didn't realize how important she is until 2002.
13. My Daddy. Well, he's my Daddy! And I'm his little girl! And he got me a job, so that's cool.
14. George W. Bush. He's a good politician, and a great man. He brings values to America, which is something we need.
15. Aaron Wellman. Maybe that sounds really odd, but who cares. Aaron is a good guy who's decent enough to check up on me when I work nights. And he's going to be a Marine, which makes him hott. :-D
16. My cell phone/texting. I love my cell phone. And I love texting. It's all that gets me through my day sometimes.
17. My computers. I'm in love with my laptop. It's my portable internet connection, and for that I'm grateful.
18. Washington, DC. DC is the most awesome place on earth! I'm very thankful that so much important stuff goes on there.
19. Louisville, KY. 2nd coolest palce one earth. I love living here. It's too freaking awesome!
20. Grandma. I'm thankful for the stuff she taught me before she went. I still miss her every single day of my life.

Ehh

So, my birthday is in about 3 hours. At 1207am I'll be old. Blah. I'm not so happy. And Tuesday night I have to go out with the family to eat. I'm hoping maybe we can go to Village 8 and see some movie instead. It would at least be entertaining. I'm not quite so depressed as I was about my inpending oldness. It'll be a-okay.

Blah. Today was boring. I got yelled at by some lady for reading "An American Life" by Ronald Reagan. She came up to the booth to ask me a question, and saw the book, which is around 725 pages, and said "Wow, that's a big book! What is it?" I answered, and this look of horror came over her and face before she asked me why I was reading it. I was like "Because I think Reagan was a great man and a great politician" and then she started yelling about how no one who's a Republican can be a great anything except liar, and blah blah blah blah blah. So then she got done with her little spiel and started to walk away, then turns and yelled "And those glasses made you look stupid!" Well, I just shut the door and began laughing really hard because she was so cranky that she felt she needed to make fun of my reading glasses.
That was my laugh for the day.

And that's all I'll say.