Who I Am...

I'm Rebekah. I'm 20, and a sophomore. I'm considering majoring in Justice Administration with minors in Forensic Anthropology and Latin. I plan on going to grad school to get my M.S. in Forensic Science. I would very much like to look at decaying bodies for a living.

I am a strong Christian and nothing will change that. I do not curse, drink, smoke, or have wild sex on the weekends.


Those are the basic things about me. But what about ME. The real me.
Am I just that little redhead, with the gap toothed smile, that usually looks too serious? Or am I much more than that?

I've been through a lot in my life. There's some stuff I've dealt with that very few people know about. 2002 and 2003 were 2 very bad years for me. So were 2004 and part of 2005 for that matter. My life has been perfect on the outside, but inside there have been a lot of things wrong.
I think I'm just now beginning to get back on track in a few areas.

In the past 5 years:
-I've had to watch Momma go through chemo and radiation. I still get really scared everytime she goes to any of her doctors. I feel like it's only a matter of time. I'm much more attached to her than I used to be. In fact, she and Daddy are away right now, and I feel like crap because she's not here.
-I've watched Grandma go from the most active 71 year old I've ever known, down to someone who spent 2 out of her last 4 months in a hospital room getting meds pumped into her. Her dying was the single worst thing that's ever happened to me. I'm not sure if I'll ever get over it, or be the same person I was before.
-I've started college, and learned that I don't like the outside world. I think by being homeschool from 2nd-12th grade, I missed out on socializing with people who have different beliefs and points of view. Even though I'm beginning my 6th semester of college, the whole thing is still foreign to me. I don't like having to go to a secular school and try to weed through the truths and fallacies of what I'm being taught.
-I've lost some friends. Some due to moving elsewhere, some due to just being stupid. I've never been one to rely on my peers all that much, but there's no denying that a good friend can mean the world to you sometimes. I wish I'd had a good friend in 2003. Things might have turned out differently if that had been the case. I've recently come to realize that my whole life I've had friends and best friends who have taken advantage of me of the type of person I am.
-I've gone from being happy, to angry, back to happy, to very angry and staying that way, back to being basically happy again. Sickness and death seems to have that effect on people. I was angry at God for almost 18 months, and it wasn't a fun time for me.


When I think about the question "who am I?", I'm reminded of this song. It makes it sound so simple.


If I live to be a hundred
And never see the seven wonders
That'll be alright
If I don't make it to the big leagues
If I never win a Grammy
I'm gonna be just fine
'Cause I know exactly who I am

I am Rosemary's granddaughter
The spitting image of my father
And when the day is done, my momma's still my biggest fan
Sometimes I'm clueless and I'm clumsy
But I've got friends who love me
And they know just where I stand
It's all a part of me
And that's who I am

So when I make a big mistake
When I fall flat on my faceI know I'll be alright
Should my tender heart be brokenI will cry those teardrops knowin'
I will be just fine
'Cause nothin' changes who I am

I am Rosemary's granddaughter
The spitting image of my father
And when the day is done
My momma's still my biggest fan
Sometimes I'm clueless and I'm clumsy
But I've got friends who love me
And they know just where I stand
It's all a part of me
And that's who I am

I'm a saint and I'm a sinner
I'm a loser, I'm a winner
I'm am steady and unstableI am young but I'm able


I am Rosemary's granddaughter
The spitting image of my father
And when the day is done
My momma's still my biggest fan
Sometimes I'm clueless and I'm clumsy
But I've got friends who love me
And they know just where I stand
It's all a part of me
And that's who I am

I am Rosemary's granddaughter
The spitting image of my father
And when the day is done
My momma's still my biggest fan
Sometimes I'm clueless and I'm clumsy
But I've got friends who love me
And they know just where I stand
It's all a part of me
And that's who I am

So, am I just that little redhead, with the gap toothed smile, that usually looks too serious? Or am I much more than that? I don't know. Maybe I'm both.